Rose colored glasses for corrective lenses

Okay today is the day I trade in my rose colored glasses for corrective lenses. For the last 10 months I have truly been in love with a man who is truly in love with someone else. Yes stupid I know. He is not with this other person due to some issues I'd rather not get into. So for the last 10 months we have been going through the most tumultuous sudo-relationship  have ever experienced. My problem is I don't know why I am drawn to this man in such a manner that I find it almost impossible for me to walk away as I know I should. Besides being in love with someone other than me he is one the most difficult, most demanding, most self serving,inconsiderate and spoiled men I have ever met. Okay now here is where I am trading in my rose colored glasses and trying to dissect why I am having such a hard time terminating this sudo-relationship.
When I met him my life was in a very hard place and so was his he was just getting out of a long term relationship. I believe that we latched on to each other for our own reasons him because it was a way to cure his loneliness and for me it was easier to solve his problems then it was my own. So I went into full throttle trying to save him from his self and make him feel better. This required a lot of my time because like I said he is very demanding but I didn't mind because to see him smile brought so much joy to my heart. Somewhere along the way I fell in love and his heart was mended and he no longer needed my time and attention. At one point he distanced himself from me for some time and I spiraled out of control into a deep depression I felt like I not only lost my love but my friend. This is a reaction that  have never experience from any break up ever. But I believe that their is something within me having nothing much to do with him that is not allowing me to let go. Its not like he is perfect for me and he views me as a lover and a friend so he talks to me about his feelings which doesn't even allow me to live in any sense of denial about what his intentions are.
At this point and time my corrective lenses let me see that I am nothing more than a consolation prize because the prize that he wants is not in his reach right now. Now my common sense tells me a lot of things one being that I deserve a man who thinks that I am the top prize, two being he is not much of a prize himself, three he doesn't really want me but I'll do for right now, four under normal circumstances he is not even someone I would consider anything long term with because maturity wise he is not on the same page as me. These are things I know but with all these realities that stand before me why is it sooo hard for me to leave him alone. IS IT THE TING TING? could be I'm not sure though because although its good I have had better.

Okay Now...

Alright so there is this guy I have known him for 6 months or so but we only talk occasionally on the phone and a little on the IM. In the beginning we talked more but one day we were talking and the conversation was going well until......he opened his refrigerator and went the fuck off because someone put the eggs on the shelf instead of in the egg holder cups on the door. He went off, you would have thought someone crashed his car or something. At this point I knew this dude was crazy so I distanced myself A.S.A.P but he is still on my IM list and he had my cell number. So the next encounter..he called me about 2am one morning and asked could he come see me when he got off work. Which was later on that morning, I kindly declined his self invitation to my house and he went the hell off again. Yes CRAZY! This was about a month ago and that was the last I heard from him UNTIL...today.(where is a drum roll when you need one) The conversation went as follows:


Him: Hello. Are you not speaking to me?

Me: Hello

Him: Long time. You don't return my call, texts or IM's. Are you involved

Him: Oh ok. You're on your computer?

Me: yes


Him: Ok may I come see you tomorrow morning?

Me: you can come take me to breakfast if you want

Him: I can't afford that until Friday. So I can only take you to breakfast? I can come spend time with you?

Me: I don't have a problem with spending time but at the same time why should it be in my house

Me: I sit here everyday

Him: Understood baby but I reached out to you several times and you didn't have time for me and then when I finally got to you it was during a funeral and I haven't heard from you since. I still have plans for you and it doesn't just consist of being in you home but please give me tomorrow morning until I can get money.

Me: no I feel like this. I am not trying to drain you of money or anything else but. I don't feel like I should have to entertain you in my home at this point. You want to spend time with me you need to come with a plan that doesnt involve us sitting in my house. If you can't afford it right now I understand.

Him: I was also coming to get your resume's so I can give them to my mother because she works in Plainfield and I will have the car tomorrow but fine no problem.

Me: you know something you have a really nasty attitude, I guess now I am supposed to regret what I said but guess what I don't. We are both grown and I choose to conduct myself as such if you can't understand that its not my problem

Him: Lol once again you're wrong and I don't have an attitude. But you're entitled to your opinion.

Me: I'm wrong ok your in denial... every single time you don't get your way you have an attitude the last time I talk to you same thing you want to yell at me because I told you I didnt want you to come to my house in the morning what the hell you call it then if it aint a funky ass attitude..LMAO!

Him: Lol I'm in denial??? NOT the reason I say in the morning is because I work nights. But I'm sure if that guy you're fucking asked to come over in the morning you'll let him

Me: There you go thinking your going to get a rise out of me, soo not working but let me tell you this I'm not fucking anybody and I would rather be celibate for the rest of my life then to fuck with you or anybody like you. you need some help for real

Him: OK that's the way you feel? Not a problem I got it. I'll leave you alone.


I promise I could not make this up. Is it me? That's all I want to know. Does this behaviour work with any woman?

Really Now? Seriously?

Is this what it has come too?

Hello everybody!
Okay so I met this guy online he seemed pretty nice..so we decided to do a quick meet and greet. Check each other out you know how that goes. A couple of days before the meet and greet my antennae went up and I was thinking maybe this guy is married or involved. Here were the signs that made my antennae go up (write these down if you need to because they are classic{part of the idiots guide to cheating})
a. He always called me frequently while at work
b. When he got off of work he would call persistently until I answered the phone and once I answered he would be sitting in his car outside his house (now the logistics behind that is to have his final conversation for the night with me before he goes in as to make an attempt to keep me from calling back after he entered his home)
Now I know you might be wondering or saying to yourself if that was me I would have called and I did (no answer).
So with this suspicion in tow I proceeded with the meet and greet. It went well except there was an infant car seat in the back {IDIOT}. He told me that he had two sons ages 7 and 11 now which one of those do you suppose needed an infant car seat? So two days go by and he's calling on the same schedule as before by the 3rd day I decide I'm not answering the phone. 4th day he saw that I was online and decided to send me a message. I told him of my suspicions and he repeatedly told me how he was single and he didn't know why I would think he wasn't BLAH BLAH BLAH... The next day his profile is deleted off the social site but he is still calling but the frequency has stopped now its like once a day. I guess while his wife or girlfriend is in the bathroom or something because now I hear the baby in the background and everything and get this he says that's my nephew. REALLY  NOW?  SERIOUSLY?
I guess my question is "Is this what it has come to?" Men don't even bother to try to be cohesive with the lie and details of said lie? A when given the opportunity to tell the truth they choose the latter and try to convince women that its the lie is the truth.... Jersey Girl